Here we go......
We left Caribi during breakfast this morning. We had to get an early start so we could get to both unscheduled villages today. It took about an hour to get there, but we had to go slow – you could definitely tell we were getting into the narrow parts of the river. The tree tops that were underwater were very close to the boat. We took it easy, but still got to Monte das Oliveras there in plenty of time.
This is one of the first homes in the village - I think there might be 6 or 7 total.
We could not pull all the way into the village - the shore was pretty shallow so the hull would get stuck, so we pulled up as close as we could. The Brazilian workers got out ( I mean jumped into the Amazon and swam) to attach the boat to some trees and to make a sort of "plank" that the people could board the ship on.
The people here were different. The village was different. Right off the bat I noticed a huge difference. Look at the picture above - do you see anything missing? Livestock – all the other villages we had been to at this point had animals running around – goats, chickens, roosters, dogs, baby chicks. This village had nothing – well, they had one very malnourished dog. It had a very erie feeling....almost a feeling of constant dred among these people. NO ONE smiled, they made very little eye contact. They were hopeless - there was no other way to say or describe this.
Earl had told us about this little boy they met the first time they went to this village that was 6 months old and weighed 4 pounds. Can you imagine??? 4 pounds at 6 months old! We ended up seeing him and he was now 2 years old and weighed 14 pounds. He has a little brother we is 9 months old and weighs 18!
This is the him - the 2 year old who weighs 14 pounds.
Earl and Ruth Ann gave his mother and father formula for him for a year. Ruth Ann said this is the best she has seen him look. The BEST? This is the BEST???? How can this be? His little brother was a little chunker. This little boy was miserable. My heart broke for him. All I wanted to do was help him - but I could do nothing.
All of the villages had their share of couples who varied wildly in age, but this village had one that was still a bit shocking to me. Dad was 47, mom was 26 and they had 8 children! I wonder how old she was when she had her first?
The last family of the day broke my heart. The mom had a three year old and then 16 month boy-girl twins. Ruth Ann told me a story about this lady. Last year, she watched this family arrive by boat. Mom had a 2 year and 8 month old twins. The father left them in the boat and expected Mom to get them all out and onto the medical boat. I thought....ok, how did she do that? Anyway, as she was collecting her medicine from the pharmacy, she tol Ruth Ann she might be pregnant. I offered to hold her son since another lady, Barbara, was already holding the little girl. She passed him through the pharmacy window. His name was Luiz. He was beautiful. He was super sweet, and surprisingly calm. He had noproblems with me holding him. I felt all warm inside. After a moment, he put his head on my shoulder and cuddled up in my neck. Do you remember holding a newborn and they just happen to find the right place where they can put their head where it is under your chin, yet still on your neck? That is where is laid. I think I fell in love with this sweet thing! I had to stop what I was doing. I rubbed his back and he continued to lay there and I continued to rub his back and sing gently in his ear. We did this until Mom came back. Mom was not pregnant - just extremly malnourished. Wow, that was an eye opener. Earl said she was asking to trade fruit for milk. Apparently a couple of the villagers were asking to trade. Earl said they can’t start doing that – it will lead to a slipperly slope. I felt myself instantly get angry. I was thinking, "You know this woman and her family AND the village are starving but you refuse to do anything!" Then, I realized.....he was right. Remember, this was the village that "heard" we were around and radioed - did I really think we could trade with them and it wouldn't turn out that allt he villages would want to do this? Reality #1 - this really sucks! The feeling I absolutely abhore feeling is - helplessness! There was NOTHING I could do. NOTHING, and that is a horrible feeling. I am a do-er by nature. There is no such thing as no - you just have to find a way to YES!
The mom had her hands full, so I carried the little boy out for her. I didn’t want to let him go! He was so comfortable in my arms and I was comfortable with him in my arms. I followed her very slowly to the end of the plank. She turned around and held out her arms. He did not lean to her like I would have thought, so I had to lean for the both of us to get him back to her. When I walked back up the plank, Sharon said, "Oh, that was the mom who told me I could keep him and take him back to the states with me." Of course, I started crying. I was hoping that she was joking, but by some of the other comments, I'm not too sure.
We did not get out and have a service at this village. And again, I got very angry. As I was trying to hold back my tears, I was thinking, why not get out and share Christ with these people? Of ALL the villages, they needed him the most! This was a bad call......bad, bad call. Although, it was probably a good thing because I would have really wanted to take him home after spending an hour or two with him in my arms!
This is Luiz.
This little boy - gorgeous and sweet - is the vehicle that God used to break my heart for what breaks his. I went back to the cabin and cried for an hour. I was finally able to dry my eyes long enough to write a prayer:
"Lord, you have used this little boy to touch me in a way that I truly feel my heart is broken. I want to help him, I want to take him home with me. Why, Lord? Why all of this? How do you want me to proceed with this new information? I need your spirit and your strength to do and proceed in your will moving forward. My job, my money, my stress, my house, my car, my clothes...nothing compares to his fight for food and for life. Where do you want me to go? Where do you want me to proceed? What does this look like in our life?"
ADOPTION.
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