It is amazing to me how much things can change in just a week! I think it has alot to do with perspective as well.This Experiencing God has been really really stretching me. It is so hard to talk with God and not just at Him. I've been doing alot of talking at Him. I have also been trying to do everything I can to make sure this all works out....including...wait for it....worrying!
Yesterday, during the study, I came across something very simple - What God has purposed to do, he will complete. It was like a light bulb went off! Duh! I know this - why am I freaking out? After I thought over this for awhile, all of my worry has been lifted. I am so much more relaxed than I thought I would be. One example - I have been checking the Brazilian consulate website everyday - they received my visa application at 10:49 am last Wednesday. It was showing as "received". I had started to think - wow, this is going to take awhile! So, yesterday afternoon it went from "received" to "ready for pickup"! Ok, no "in process" - "approved", just straight from received to ready for pickup! Pretty cool!
I have an official meeting for the trip tonight, which I am really excited about because I will get to meet the other people going on this trip. I am also excited to get some more details.
Donation status - Last Friday, a friend at work, who is 8 months pregnant, handed me a check. I was floored! I struggled with taking it because I know she wants to stay home for awhile after the baby and I know they have been saving money for this time and I felt guilty that she thought I was worth such a large donation! Then I remember something that I learned in my class - Don't deny someone an opportunity to participate in God's work. Ughhh....so, I took the money. Another girl at work gave me a donation towards my trip on Friday as well. Rob's mom also sent a check - which I received on Friday! I turned in all the money that I had on Sunday. Another shocker - a gentleman that i work with walked into my office yesterday and said, I would like to donate towards your trip and handed me a $20 bill. That was really sweet of him. I have been surprised by the donations I have received from the people at my work. Pleasantly surprised, and humbled, but surprised none the less. I still don't know if I have received any donations sent directly to the church. I'm trying to relax about it. I really feel like God was telling me, "Relax. I got this." AFTER I stopped talking at him and stopped to listen for Him.
Things are coming together. The nanny is set to be home on Saturday the 5th from JMU. She is going to be helping Rob and my mom while I am away. It worked out perfectly. All the paperwork is done, all the travel arrangements are done. The only thing I have not done is pack and go see my PCP. I got anti-malaria medicine from Patient First, but I am thinking I want to take something else after reading the side effects. Other than that, it is just time to wait.
For those who know me, you know how I LOVE to wait.....
11 DAYS!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Updates
Over the past week I have been getting more and more
frightened. Not of the trip itself, per
se, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was scarring me so badly. I mean, my anxiety has been through the roof
and I have no idea why.
No, I’m not afraid of the mosquitoes that could carry me off.
No, I’m not afraid of the mosquitoes that could carry me off.
No, I’m not scared of the anacondas.
No, I’m not scared of leaving the kids with Rob for two
weeks.
I just couldn’t put my finger on what was scarring me to
my core. Seriously, as the days were
progressing, I was becoming more and more frightened, freaked out and overwhelmed. You would think that I would be getting more
and more excited, but the opposite was happening.
Last night it became clear – I have already been trying
to figure what I was going to “do” when I got back. I’ve been expending all this energy and
mental capacity on trying to figure out what was going to happen when I got
back from Brazil. I haven’t even left
yet! I’m not even ready to GO, much less
worry about what is going to happen when I get back. I realized that I have been trying to deal
with the feelings that my trip is going to invoke internally and what to do
with them when I haven’t even gotten there yet!
How in the world am I supposed to deal with feelings that I haven’t even
FELT yet? No wonder I feel like I’m
frantic! Not sure why I put myself
through all of this – oh, wait, I do know.
I’m a control freak! Everything
for this trip is out of my control and I have no say. Kind of a different feeling for me that I
think I have skipped over the trip part and am already trying to control the
after part. (Yes, it gets tiring being
in my brain!)
Anyway, I am feeling much more relaxed today, so I
thought I would give some updates!
First things first!
I know how we will be getting to Miami!
By plane, on May 6th.
We will be getting to Miami late and will need to be there super early,
so, we are going to stay at the airport. (hmmm, this should be interesting. I’ve seen people sleeping in airports, but
never thought I would be one of them!)
Second – I went to Patient First and got all of my shots
this past Sunday. Yellow Fever – check,
Typhoid – check, Tetanus – check, Hep A – check. The only one that did not hurt was the only
REQUIRED one – Yellow Fever. I also received
the little international traveler certificate thingy to prove I have had all of
these immunizations.
Third – My visa application is now at the Brazilian
consulate in Washington DC. It will take
anywhere from 8 to 10 business days to process.
They are saying it will be shipped to me on May 2. Wow….that’s really close. The document services company said it should
not be a problem because it is “quiet” in Brazil right now. In February it might have been a problem because
of Carnivale, but I should have no problems.
A lot of people have been asking me about donations I
have received. I haven’t wanted to post
anything about it because – I don’t know – just seems – weird – to broadcast
something like that. But, I decided that
I would. I have personally received 2
donations. One from Rob’s co-worker - he
was telling her about my trip and the next day she came back and gave him some
cash to give to me. The other one is
from Ben’s preschool – again, another source Rob told (is there a theme
here?). I was so incredibly touched and
humbled that Ben’s preschool would want to donate to me. They have been the biggest blessing to our
family over the last 5 years. James went
there and then we loved everyone so much that even though it was out of our way
once we moved, we kept Ben there. This
is Ben’s last two months. I’m so touched
that the place that has provided stability and love to two of our children
decided to bless me on this trip. It is
incredible and I am so deeply appreciative that I can’t even find the right
words to express it.
Thank you for taking the time to read my update!
17 Days.....
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Officially Official!
Well, now it is really official! I have a plane ticket from Miami to
Brazil! There is no turning back
now! In 24 days, I will be on my way! Only thing is that I still don’t know how I
am getting to Miami. I guess I’ll be
finding out at some point.
Yesterday, I was researching the website of the mission
where I will be going and found a journal from a lady who went in the same trip
in January. It was very informative and
exciting! I know there was plenty that
she left out, but I am getting excited instead of uneasy. So, that is a good sign!
Today I must fill out the Brazilian Visa form and get it
ready to Fed Ex to the document processing company that will expedite my
visa. Apparently, it is not so easy to
get a Brazilian visa quickly without one, so I will bite the bullet and pay the
fee.
Next on my list will be the immunizations. There is a Patient First in my area that
stocks shots for international travelers, so I will go there and get them all
knocked out at one time. Then I will
have to go to my PCP to get the malaria pills and a prescription for
cipro. Why go to two different
places? Well, my PCP doesn’t stock
yellow fever or typhoid so I would have to go to a specialty pharmacy with a prescription,
get them filled, and then take them back to my PCP for administration. AND my insurance company covers them only
under medical – not prescription. So, I
will be jumping through some hoops, but I would rather do that than play ring
around the rosy!
The interesting thing is that it seems each day for the
past week, someone from my job has asked me about “going into the jungle on a
boat” and “Am I crazy?”! I can’t tell if
it is making me excited or making me more nervous about the whole thing. Everyone always asks about the anacondas,
spiders and mosquitoes the size of monkeys.
It is very interesting to hear all these different perspectives about a
country that none of us have been to!
24 days…..
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
And it begins....
Was it wishful thinking that I would actually not have any doubt about this trip? Yes, yes it was....
Since last Wednesday I have been waiting for my TAM number so that I could begin filling out the Brazilian visa forms. I received my TAM number yesterday evening - on Sunday, my pastor told me that another pastor would send me the information since he would be in Haiti this week and I needed to proceed.
So, I received the TAM number. I sent an e-mail to the other guy at church, saying, hey, I got my TAM number, but I don't speak Portuguese so I don't understand the website. Is there an English conversion or something?? I'd like to get the itinerary. He sends me back an e-mail saying the TAM number is not an itinerary number and that he is still waiting on flight information. Oh...ok. I ask him what is this TAM number then because I was told it was very important and that I needed to keep a copy of it in my passport for reference. No response....
One hour.....
Two hours.....
I get a forwarded e-mail saying here is your flight. You will want to do the expedited visa. I have included his information at the bottom. You should really pay by credit card by April 12th or the flight will be cancelled. I scroll down, down, down.....
The flight is Miami to Manuas, Brazil - round trip. Great. Whoa.....that is alot of money!
Now, I didn't ask how this was going to work, but I had assumed from the way my pastor I spoke last week and again on Sunday, that I was going to pay the church right before the trip. Well, apparently not. I have to pay for this ticket, right now. Hmmmmm........I can feel the anxiety creeping in.
Then I realize - wait - this is from Miami round trip. I e-mail him, and ask How are we getting to Miami? Do you want to know what his response was?
"We will worry about how to get to Miami later."
Um, excuse me? Later? Like when? Seeing that today is April 10th and I am leaving May7th - or possibly late May 6th!!! Seriously....when is later? Is this a man thing? Or am I just freaking out for no reason? I think this man thing...
So, now I am in a bit of a position:
1. I can send him back an e-mail that says - what do you mean later? You never answered my question - what is a TAM number and why is it so important? And then have him think - Wow, this girl needs to relax. I'm glad I'm not going on that trip - she is really uptight and a control freak!
2. I can pause and try to trust that God is in control.
Hmmm, my way would be number 1 for sure. No doubt. I had actually thought of e-mailing the lead pastor of the entire church to tell him about how I was feeling like no one was giving me any information - about anything! I was going to tell him maybe he needed to hire a woman to come in there and get this sort of stuff organized.....(you can hear the anxiety can't you???).....but then....
I determined NOT to do that. I kept telling myself this whole last week that God has this, God will see this through, God called - I said yes and that means he is going to work this out.
So why am I freaking out????
CONTROL!
This is not going like I thought it would go - already. Rob keeps saying, "This is not YOUR plan, it is God's plan. HE will work it out". Immediately in my head, I thought....easy for you to say! And right after that - I know!
I really wanted to not have any doubt through this process. I'm actually disappointed that it has only been a week before I allowed doubt to consume - even for a short bit.
Thankfully, I know - without a shadow of a doubt - this trip was his plan and not mine. He will work this out. I don't know how - but he will. There was a verse that was said tonight at our class that I know was for me:
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord
Just the beginning made me feel a bit better. Some of my classmates laughed with (at) me because they know how hard it is for me to release control.
Bright spot - My insurance company pays for travel immunizations! Saves me $393!!! Whoop Whoop! So excited about that!
It is hard to remember that his ways are not my ways. His timing is not my timing. Ugghhh.....
Still stressed, asking for forgiveness for my doubt, and emotionally drained after a long day at work....27 days left.
Since last Wednesday I have been waiting for my TAM number so that I could begin filling out the Brazilian visa forms. I received my TAM number yesterday evening - on Sunday, my pastor told me that another pastor would send me the information since he would be in Haiti this week and I needed to proceed.
So, I received the TAM number. I sent an e-mail to the other guy at church, saying, hey, I got my TAM number, but I don't speak Portuguese so I don't understand the website. Is there an English conversion or something?? I'd like to get the itinerary. He sends me back an e-mail saying the TAM number is not an itinerary number and that he is still waiting on flight information. Oh...ok. I ask him what is this TAM number then because I was told it was very important and that I needed to keep a copy of it in my passport for reference. No response....
One hour.....
Two hours.....
I get a forwarded e-mail saying here is your flight. You will want to do the expedited visa. I have included his information at the bottom. You should really pay by credit card by April 12th or the flight will be cancelled. I scroll down, down, down.....
The flight is Miami to Manuas, Brazil - round trip. Great. Whoa.....that is alot of money!
Now, I didn't ask how this was going to work, but I had assumed from the way my pastor I spoke last week and again on Sunday, that I was going to pay the church right before the trip. Well, apparently not. I have to pay for this ticket, right now. Hmmmmm........I can feel the anxiety creeping in.
Then I realize - wait - this is from Miami round trip. I e-mail him, and ask How are we getting to Miami? Do you want to know what his response was?
"We will worry about how to get to Miami later."
Um, excuse me? Later? Like when? Seeing that today is April 10th and I am leaving May7th - or possibly late May 6th!!! Seriously....when is later? Is this a man thing? Or am I just freaking out for no reason? I think this man thing...
So, now I am in a bit of a position:
1. I can send him back an e-mail that says - what do you mean later? You never answered my question - what is a TAM number and why is it so important? And then have him think - Wow, this girl needs to relax. I'm glad I'm not going on that trip - she is really uptight and a control freak!
2. I can pause and try to trust that God is in control.
Hmmm, my way would be number 1 for sure. No doubt. I had actually thought of e-mailing the lead pastor of the entire church to tell him about how I was feeling like no one was giving me any information - about anything! I was going to tell him maybe he needed to hire a woman to come in there and get this sort of stuff organized.....(you can hear the anxiety can't you???).....but then....
I determined NOT to do that. I kept telling myself this whole last week that God has this, God will see this through, God called - I said yes and that means he is going to work this out.
So why am I freaking out????
CONTROL!
This is not going like I thought it would go - already. Rob keeps saying, "This is not YOUR plan, it is God's plan. HE will work it out". Immediately in my head, I thought....easy for you to say! And right after that - I know!
I really wanted to not have any doubt through this process. I'm actually disappointed that it has only been a week before I allowed doubt to consume - even for a short bit.
Thankfully, I know - without a shadow of a doubt - this trip was his plan and not mine. He will work this out. I don't know how - but he will. There was a verse that was said tonight at our class that I know was for me:
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord
Just the beginning made me feel a bit better. Some of my classmates laughed with (at) me because they know how hard it is for me to release control.
Bright spot - My insurance company pays for travel immunizations! Saves me $393!!! Whoop Whoop! So excited about that!
It is hard to remember that his ways are not my ways. His timing is not my timing. Ugghhh.....
Still stressed, asking for forgiveness for my doubt, and emotionally drained after a long day at work....27 days left.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Incredible Easter!
What an incredible day yesterday was!
I'll start at the end - Our son James accepted Christ! He told us he wanted to do it, so we had a long talk, then we all held hands (all 5 of us) as Rob walked him through the sinner's prayer! It was so cool! I couldn't be more proud! I also underestimated how emotional it would be. He wants to get baptized - right now.
The sad part - he ended up getting really sick in the middle of the night. I mean really, really sick. I won't post the gory details, so just take my word for it - SICK! During one of the episodes he said, "Why is this happening to me? This is bad! But I said the sinner's prayer! I thought good things were supposed to happen!" Poor thing!
So, now I will back up a bit. I took a walk after dinner as I was trying to sort out somethings in my head. I was walking and talking with God and thanking him for Jesus' sacrifice. And then I began to wonder......
Who would I sacrifice my life for? My children of course! I would take their pain and suffering and a bullet for them at any point if my abilities allowed it. And if they didn't, I would try harder. Would I give my life for my husband? hmmmm, that is where it starts to get tricky. I think I would....I think. Then, unfortunately, my answers turn to NO. I'm sorry, I just don't think I could do it, knowing what I would be leaving behind.
Yet...Jesus willingly laid his life down for me. Willingly. He knew every sin I would ever commit, yet he still chose to bear the cross. Wow.
That got me thinking - What would I do if someone in the here and now gave their life for me? What would I do? I would make their family my family. I would make sure that everyone knew how grateful and thankful I was for the gift they bestowed upon me. I would do anything for that person's spouse, their children, their parents. I would make sure that they knew the price paid was not a waste.
So, how is that any different from what I am willing to give to Jesus? The difference is, Jesus knows my deepest, darkest secrets and he still chose the cross. What is left for me to do? How can I not give Jesus everything for what he has done? Not only do I get a better life now, but I will have life everlasting!
He is Risen and He is Alive!
He called me to Brazil, how can I say no?
I'll start at the end - Our son James accepted Christ! He told us he wanted to do it, so we had a long talk, then we all held hands (all 5 of us) as Rob walked him through the sinner's prayer! It was so cool! I couldn't be more proud! I also underestimated how emotional it would be. He wants to get baptized - right now.
The sad part - he ended up getting really sick in the middle of the night. I mean really, really sick. I won't post the gory details, so just take my word for it - SICK! During one of the episodes he said, "Why is this happening to me? This is bad! But I said the sinner's prayer! I thought good things were supposed to happen!" Poor thing!
So, now I will back up a bit. I took a walk after dinner as I was trying to sort out somethings in my head. I was walking and talking with God and thanking him for Jesus' sacrifice. And then I began to wonder......
Who would I sacrifice my life for? My children of course! I would take their pain and suffering and a bullet for them at any point if my abilities allowed it. And if they didn't, I would try harder. Would I give my life for my husband? hmmmm, that is where it starts to get tricky. I think I would....I think. Then, unfortunately, my answers turn to NO. I'm sorry, I just don't think I could do it, knowing what I would be leaving behind.
Yet...Jesus willingly laid his life down for me. Willingly. He knew every sin I would ever commit, yet he still chose to bear the cross. Wow.
That got me thinking - What would I do if someone in the here and now gave their life for me? What would I do? I would make their family my family. I would make sure that everyone knew how grateful and thankful I was for the gift they bestowed upon me. I would do anything for that person's spouse, their children, their parents. I would make sure that they knew the price paid was not a waste.
So, how is that any different from what I am willing to give to Jesus? The difference is, Jesus knows my deepest, darkest secrets and he still chose the cross. What is left for me to do? How can I not give Jesus everything for what he has done? Not only do I get a better life now, but I will have life everlasting!
He is Risen and He is Alive!
He called me to Brazil, how can I say no?
Saturday, April 7, 2012
CRAZY????
So these past couple of days have had some awesome moments and some pretty awkward moments! I know that some people have read this blog and thought - "Whoa this is crazy! There is no way!"
I would be lying if I said that I did not have moments of doubt myself. But, I am extremely thankful that they have been fleeting moments and not all consuming doubt. I have been blessed in that when doubt creeps in, I tell it to "GO AWAY!".
I got up early this morning to do my bible study and have comforted beyond measure! My study was about believing God and some examples. I think the examples that were provided were so relevant to my situation that I wanted to share two of them:
1. Jericho - God told Joshua that he would give him and the people Jericho. God told Joshua to have the people walk around the city walls blowing trumpets once a day for 6 days. (Ok, really?) Then, on the seventh day, walk around the walls 7 times blowing the trumpets and give a loud cry. So, you know the story, when they gave the loud cry, the wall fell.
2. When the tax collector came to collect taxes, Jesus sent Peter to the lake to go fishing. He told Peter to look in the mouth of the first fish he caught and there would be a 4 drachma coin - the taxes required for Jesus and Peter.
THOSE ARE CRAZY!
In both of those stories, Joshua and Peter and to believe that God was going to provide. They didn't have to believe because those are some pretty crazy ways to get to the end result, right? Maybe if Joshua had done it his way he still would have won Jericho, maybe not. Can you imagine what Peter was thinking? Ok, you want me to go fishing and you are going to put a coin in the mouth of the fish? Come on! Both of those stories are crazy - and you might even be thinking - weird. The point I am trying to make is that God's way is crazy at times. If it were not, then there would be no reason for faith.
Going to Brazil in 30 days is not nearly as crazy as either one of those stories in my mind. I mean really, what is so crazy about that? Yes, it is last minute. Yes, it is a shock. But, really, what is so crazy? The fact that He wants me to go or the fact that I said yes? God will finish what He has started. I've made the most important first step - believing it.
God is going to ask us to do crazy things. And in those crazy things you will come to know God better because if you believe that He can do what He says in the middle of crazy, then everyone will know that YOU did not accomplish this task! We can either do them or not. It is all up to you! (and me!)
I would be lying if I said that I did not have moments of doubt myself. But, I am extremely thankful that they have been fleeting moments and not all consuming doubt. I have been blessed in that when doubt creeps in, I tell it to "GO AWAY!".
I got up early this morning to do my bible study and have comforted beyond measure! My study was about believing God and some examples. I think the examples that were provided were so relevant to my situation that I wanted to share two of them:
1. Jericho - God told Joshua that he would give him and the people Jericho. God told Joshua to have the people walk around the city walls blowing trumpets once a day for 6 days. (Ok, really?) Then, on the seventh day, walk around the walls 7 times blowing the trumpets and give a loud cry. So, you know the story, when they gave the loud cry, the wall fell.
2. When the tax collector came to collect taxes, Jesus sent Peter to the lake to go fishing. He told Peter to look in the mouth of the first fish he caught and there would be a 4 drachma coin - the taxes required for Jesus and Peter.
THOSE ARE CRAZY!
In both of those stories, Joshua and Peter and to believe that God was going to provide. They didn't have to believe because those are some pretty crazy ways to get to the end result, right? Maybe if Joshua had done it his way he still would have won Jericho, maybe not. Can you imagine what Peter was thinking? Ok, you want me to go fishing and you are going to put a coin in the mouth of the fish? Come on! Both of those stories are crazy - and you might even be thinking - weird. The point I am trying to make is that God's way is crazy at times. If it were not, then there would be no reason for faith.
Going to Brazil in 30 days is not nearly as crazy as either one of those stories in my mind. I mean really, what is so crazy about that? Yes, it is last minute. Yes, it is a shock. But, really, what is so crazy? The fact that He wants me to go or the fact that I said yes? God will finish what He has started. I've made the most important first step - believing it.
God is going to ask us to do crazy things. And in those crazy things you will come to know God better because if you believe that He can do what He says in the middle of crazy, then everyone will know that YOU did not accomplish this task! We can either do them or not. It is all up to you! (and me!)
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Overwhelmed!
I am so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support, both privately and publicly! It has been such a comfort! Rob said yesterday morning morning, "Now people know your thoughts!" And I cringed thinking - What are people going to think of me? Am I a whackadoodle? (Thanks to my pastor for that term! Love it!) Then, I just felt calm and thought, this is me. I can't apologize for what is going on! This is amazing! If I'm weird, then I'm weird, but at least I said yes!
I was so scared going to talk to my boss yesterday. She was tense. It probably didn't help that I mistakenly set it up as if I was going to tell her I was quiting. Although...I didn't really ask her permission to go. I said I was going and that I could not say no to it. I wonder if that made her mad? I didn't realize I had done that until just now...but anyway, she loosened up tremendously by the end of our conversation and she even looked up one of the recommended shots for me. I was really grateful for that!
Then, I learned so much in the next 3 hours my head was spinning......VISA, TAM, Yellow Fever, Typhoid, Hep A, Hep B, don't even think about sticking to a diet while there! So many things! So little time! At this point, I am waiting until the flight is booked so I can apply for a Brazilian visa. I think for peace of mind I will go ahead and pay a document services company to handle the visa for me.
I did make a mistake at work yesterday. We have a no solicitation policy - which means, you can not "solicit" donations or ask anyone directly about fundraisers and the like. Well, I didn't even think about it - I sent an e-mail to my three physicians telling them about the trip and telling them they could donate. I was scared to death by the way because I hate asking for help. I think this is a weakness God is going to stretch in the next 30 days. I was very thankful that my boss, very gently, reminded me of the policy. I did send this e-mail back to them that said, "OOpps, I forgot about the policy. I'm sorry!" It is embarrassing though, seeing that I am the Office Manager and hold 25 people accountable for the policy manual! At this point, the damage was done. All I could do was apologize.
I'm undecided about whether I will hang something up telling everyone at work what I am doing. If I don't, what does that say? I've put it on Facebook but I'm afraid to put it up at work? Hmmmm.....I will have to ponder this one today.
I was so scared going to talk to my boss yesterday. She was tense. It probably didn't help that I mistakenly set it up as if I was going to tell her I was quiting. Although...I didn't really ask her permission to go. I said I was going and that I could not say no to it. I wonder if that made her mad? I didn't realize I had done that until just now...but anyway, she loosened up tremendously by the end of our conversation and she even looked up one of the recommended shots for me. I was really grateful for that!
Then, I learned so much in the next 3 hours my head was spinning......VISA, TAM, Yellow Fever, Typhoid, Hep A, Hep B, don't even think about sticking to a diet while there! So many things! So little time! At this point, I am waiting until the flight is booked so I can apply for a Brazilian visa. I think for peace of mind I will go ahead and pay a document services company to handle the visa for me.
I did make a mistake at work yesterday. We have a no solicitation policy - which means, you can not "solicit" donations or ask anyone directly about fundraisers and the like. Well, I didn't even think about it - I sent an e-mail to my three physicians telling them about the trip and telling them they could donate. I was scared to death by the way because I hate asking for help. I think this is a weakness God is going to stretch in the next 30 days. I was very thankful that my boss, very gently, reminded me of the policy. I did send this e-mail back to them that said, "OOpps, I forgot about the policy. I'm sorry!" It is embarrassing though, seeing that I am the Office Manager and hold 25 people accountable for the policy manual! At this point, the damage was done. All I could do was apologize.
I'm undecided about whether I will hang something up telling everyone at work what I am doing. If I don't, what does that say? I've put it on Facebook but I'm afraid to put it up at work? Hmmmm.....I will have to ponder this one today.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Richmond to Brazil in 33 days....
Today, I said yes to God.
Yes, Lord, I will go to Brazil on this missions trip. Yes, I know it is only 33 days away. Yes, I know it is 2 weeks long! Yes, I know it is expensive. If I say no now, when I have heard you the clearest in all my life, when will I be able to say yes?
If you have the time and are even the slightest bit interested, please read how I got here. I am new to bloging, so I only have three other posts besides this one - so, not too long.
This trip is two weeks long and it is in 33 days from today. In 35 days, I will be on a boat in the Amazon jungle - for real! No joking. On a boat, on a river, in the Amazon jungle, in Brazil. That takes my breath away....I would never have the courage to do this on my own.
I will be getting ready for this trip in a really really short amount of time. I didn't realize how much preparation goes along with planning a missions trip. These folks have been planning for months and I will do it in days. I will not be able to do this without help. Please help me through your prayers and financial support as this trip will cost $2,500. Will you say a little prayer for me? For my sanity? For my sweet sweet husband?
This is where I will be going:
http://www.cbm.org.br/new/index.php
If you go on this website, you will get a little taste of what I will be enjoying. Apparently, I will not be seeing anacondas while there...
I will be a part of the health minitries team that will travel up and down the river to different villages with a group of doctors and nurses helping to meet the medical needs of the people. The other part of the group will be building a church.
I can't believe I am going to go. I really can't. Since I have not had the luxury of planning this for months, I have not had the opportunity to save nor plan for this expense. This trip will cost $2,500. Should you read this story and feel led to help in some small way, please send a check to:
Journey Christian Church
3505 Old Hundred Road
Midlothian, VA 23112
Please put my name - Christy Whitver in the memo line along with Brazil missions trip. Your contribution is tax deductible.
I can't tell you enough how much your support, in any capacity, means to me. I cherish the thought that one of my friends or family members may want to support me as I take this huge step in faith. Thank you so much!
I plan to share my journey getting to Brazil, ministering in Brazil and coming home.
Stay tuned!
Yes, Lord, I will go to Brazil on this missions trip. Yes, I know it is only 33 days away. Yes, I know it is 2 weeks long! Yes, I know it is expensive. If I say no now, when I have heard you the clearest in all my life, when will I be able to say yes?
If you have the time and are even the slightest bit interested, please read how I got here. I am new to bloging, so I only have three other posts besides this one - so, not too long.
This trip is two weeks long and it is in 33 days from today. In 35 days, I will be on a boat in the Amazon jungle - for real! No joking. On a boat, on a river, in the Amazon jungle, in Brazil. That takes my breath away....I would never have the courage to do this on my own.
I will be getting ready for this trip in a really really short amount of time. I didn't realize how much preparation goes along with planning a missions trip. These folks have been planning for months and I will do it in days. I will not be able to do this without help. Please help me through your prayers and financial support as this trip will cost $2,500. Will you say a little prayer for me? For my sanity? For my sweet sweet husband?
This is where I will be going:
http://www.cbm.org.br/new/index.php
If you go on this website, you will get a little taste of what I will be enjoying. Apparently, I will not be seeing anacondas while there...
I will be a part of the health minitries team that will travel up and down the river to different villages with a group of doctors and nurses helping to meet the medical needs of the people. The other part of the group will be building a church.
I can't believe I am going to go. I really can't. Since I have not had the luxury of planning this for months, I have not had the opportunity to save nor plan for this expense. This trip will cost $2,500. Should you read this story and feel led to help in some small way, please send a check to:
Journey Christian Church
3505 Old Hundred Road
Midlothian, VA 23112
Please put my name - Christy Whitver in the memo line along with Brazil missions trip. Your contribution is tax deductible.
I can't tell you enough how much your support, in any capacity, means to me. I cherish the thought that one of my friends or family members may want to support me as I take this huge step in faith. Thank you so much!
I plan to share my journey getting to Brazil, ministering in Brazil and coming home.
Stay tuned!
Something has arrived!
I can't believe it has been a week since I posted. I should have posted something each day as I have gone through this journey (yes, in one week I have been on a journey!). It has been truly amazing! I can't even find the right words to describe it!
Before I began this study, I would always ask "How do you know it was God?" "No, seriously, what made you know without a doubt that what you heard was God? Did you hear "the voice'"? I was at a loss - truly. This study has taught me more in 6 weeks then I ever dreamed was possible. First - you CAN have a love relationship with God that is real and personal. I've always heard that - well maybe not in those words - exactly. MY church does a fantastic job of preaching a relationship with Christ. I just didn't get it until now. Maybe it takes me longer to understand things - I don't know. I truly don't, but what I do know is that over the last 6 weeks I know that God loves me more than I ever dreamed possible. Why? I don't think we will ever know why God chose us specifically, but he did and that is all that matters.
I am going to try really hard to convey my journey for you as I have experienced it over the last week - it may be long, but it is amazing!
Over the last couple of weeks, I have had this overwhelming sensation that God was telling me - Come to me, Learn who I really am, Learn that you can trust me, just come...At the end of one of the previous weeks I felt God tell me - Get Ready! I knew something was up because I would never ever in a million years tell my self to "Get Ready". I am EXTREMELY impatient. I am type A and I need to know right now! As my boss says - Instant gratification takes too long. Get ready? Seriously? Come on!
Rob and I share the same workbook and we both get up at 5 am. We were supposed to alternate - excise, study. Well....that was the plan anyway. You know how that goes! So, anyway, it was his turn to do the study and God had already impressed upon me, "Just because he is doing the study it doesn't mean you can't spend time in my Word." Ok, so I started reading 2 Corinthians....and these verses seared into my being like nothing before them:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sin against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us..." 2 Corinthians 5:17-20 (emphasis mine)
When I read that - WHOA! If I am saved, which I am, then the God of the universe has committed to me personally his message. Christ resides in me so that I may share it with others. I am an ambassador for Christ. WHOA AGAIN! I never ever got this. NEVER. It still affects me the same way as it did last week....It's like these verses have affected my soul...
Yesterday everything started to come together. I was home sick from work so I decided to catch up on the study from what I did not do over the weekend. The study brought up Jeremiah 1:5:
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
I read this verse and I was like, huh - interesting. I picked up the book I am ready, Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and what do I read? Francis Chan going into the woods for a 4 day retreat - what does he open his Bible to? Jeremiah 1! SAME VERSE!!!! At this point I am freaking out! Ok, God what are telling me? (Lots of freaking out and wondering and reading past journal "stuff" and applying it to now) I thought, ok, he is confirming my desire to go to Honduras on a mission trip in September. GREAT! Rob gets home....we start talking while the kids are outside. At this point, I am thinking, maybe God is calling me for something bigger than this one mission trip - well, I know it really. Rob and I are talking about it and us being missionaries (??????) and he says - I think you need to go to Brazil. Brazil? That trip is only one month away! I'm going to Honduras, not Brazil. Brazil is expensive - like - expensive. He said, I think you should at least pray about it. Ok, honey...I'll do that.
This morning, I am praying and writing in my journal as I have found that is a good way to focus my mind and not wander....I'm thinking in my head, Lord do you want me to go to Brazil because...and then I hear it (not "the voice") clearly - What about both? WHAT???? Both? How is that possible? BOTH? REALLY?
I sent an e-mail to our pastor - would you believe it? Someone backed out and there is room for me on this trip? I'm FREAKING OUT! (Can you see and hear the type A through this post? LOL)
I shared with my Experiencing God class after my hour long talk with my pastor....so, I am going to BRAZIL! On May 7th.....33 days from now.
Before I began this study, I would always ask "How do you know it was God?" "No, seriously, what made you know without a doubt that what you heard was God? Did you hear "the voice'"? I was at a loss - truly. This study has taught me more in 6 weeks then I ever dreamed was possible. First - you CAN have a love relationship with God that is real and personal. I've always heard that - well maybe not in those words - exactly. MY church does a fantastic job of preaching a relationship with Christ. I just didn't get it until now. Maybe it takes me longer to understand things - I don't know. I truly don't, but what I do know is that over the last 6 weeks I know that God loves me more than I ever dreamed possible. Why? I don't think we will ever know why God chose us specifically, but he did and that is all that matters.
I am going to try really hard to convey my journey for you as I have experienced it over the last week - it may be long, but it is amazing!
Over the last couple of weeks, I have had this overwhelming sensation that God was telling me - Come to me, Learn who I really am, Learn that you can trust me, just come...At the end of one of the previous weeks I felt God tell me - Get Ready! I knew something was up because I would never ever in a million years tell my self to "Get Ready". I am EXTREMELY impatient. I am type A and I need to know right now! As my boss says - Instant gratification takes too long. Get ready? Seriously? Come on!
Rob and I share the same workbook and we both get up at 5 am. We were supposed to alternate - excise, study. Well....that was the plan anyway. You know how that goes! So, anyway, it was his turn to do the study and God had already impressed upon me, "Just because he is doing the study it doesn't mean you can't spend time in my Word." Ok, so I started reading 2 Corinthians....and these verses seared into my being like nothing before them:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sin against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us..." 2 Corinthians 5:17-20 (emphasis mine)
When I read that - WHOA! If I am saved, which I am, then the God of the universe has committed to me personally his message. Christ resides in me so that I may share it with others. I am an ambassador for Christ. WHOA AGAIN! I never ever got this. NEVER. It still affects me the same way as it did last week....It's like these verses have affected my soul...
Yesterday everything started to come together. I was home sick from work so I decided to catch up on the study from what I did not do over the weekend. The study brought up Jeremiah 1:5:
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
I read this verse and I was like, huh - interesting. I picked up the book I am ready, Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and what do I read? Francis Chan going into the woods for a 4 day retreat - what does he open his Bible to? Jeremiah 1! SAME VERSE!!!! At this point I am freaking out! Ok, God what are telling me? (Lots of freaking out and wondering and reading past journal "stuff" and applying it to now) I thought, ok, he is confirming my desire to go to Honduras on a mission trip in September. GREAT! Rob gets home....we start talking while the kids are outside. At this point, I am thinking, maybe God is calling me for something bigger than this one mission trip - well, I know it really. Rob and I are talking about it and us being missionaries (??????) and he says - I think you need to go to Brazil. Brazil? That trip is only one month away! I'm going to Honduras, not Brazil. Brazil is expensive - like - expensive. He said, I think you should at least pray about it. Ok, honey...I'll do that.
This morning, I am praying and writing in my journal as I have found that is a good way to focus my mind and not wander....I'm thinking in my head, Lord do you want me to go to Brazil because...and then I hear it (not "the voice") clearly - What about both? WHAT???? Both? How is that possible? BOTH? REALLY?
I sent an e-mail to our pastor - would you believe it? Someone backed out and there is room for me on this trip? I'm FREAKING OUT! (Can you see and hear the type A through this post? LOL)
I shared with my Experiencing God class after my hour long talk with my pastor....so, I am going to BRAZIL! On May 7th.....33 days from now.
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