Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Updates

Over the past week I have been getting more and more frightened.  Not of the trip itself, per se, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was scarring me so badly.  I mean, my anxiety has been through the roof and I have no idea why.
 
No, I’m not afraid of the mosquitoes that could carry me off.

No, I’m not scared of the anacondas.

No, I’m not scared of leaving the kids with Rob for two weeks.

I just couldn’t put my finger on what was scarring me to my core.  Seriously, as the days were progressing, I was becoming more and more frightened, freaked out and overwhelmed.  You would think that I would be getting more and more excited, but the opposite was happening. 

Last night it became clear – I have already been trying to figure what I was going to “do” when I got back.  I’ve been expending all this energy and mental capacity on trying to figure out what was going to happen when I got back from Brazil.  I haven’t even left yet!  I’m not even ready to GO, much less worry about what is going to happen when I get back.  I realized that I have been trying to deal with the feelings that my trip is going to invoke internally and what to do with them when I haven’t even gotten there yet!  How in the world am I supposed to deal with feelings that I haven’t even FELT yet?  No wonder I feel like I’m frantic!  Not sure why I put myself through all of this – oh, wait, I do know.  I’m a control freak!  Everything for this trip is out of my control and I have no say.  Kind of a different feeling for me that I think I have skipped over the trip part and am already trying to control the after part.  (Yes, it gets tiring being in my brain!)

Anyway, I am feeling much more relaxed today, so I thought I would give some updates!

First things first!  I know how we will be getting to Miami!  By plane, on May 6th.  We will be getting to Miami late and will need to be there super early, so, we are going to stay at the airport. (hmmm, this should be interesting.  I’ve seen people sleeping in airports, but never thought I would be one of them!) 

Second – I went to Patient First and got all of my shots this past Sunday.  Yellow Fever – check, Typhoid – check, Tetanus – check, Hep A – check.  The only one that did not hurt was the only REQUIRED one – Yellow Fever.  I also received the little international traveler certificate thingy to prove I have had all of these immunizations.

Third – My visa application is now at the Brazilian consulate in Washington DC.  It will take anywhere from 8 to 10 business days to process.  They are saying it will be shipped to me on May 2.  Wow….that’s really close.  The document services company said it should not be a problem because it is “quiet” in Brazil right now.  In February it might have been a problem because of Carnivale, but I should have no problems.

A lot of people have been asking me about donations I have received.  I haven’t wanted to post anything about it because – I don’t know – just seems – weird – to broadcast something like that.  But, I decided that I would.  I have personally received 2 donations.  One from Rob’s co-worker - he was telling her about my trip and the next day she came back and gave him some cash to give to me.  The other one is from Ben’s preschool – again, another source Rob told (is there a theme here?).  I was so incredibly touched and humbled that Ben’s preschool would want to donate to me.  They have been the biggest blessing to our family over the last 5 years.  James went there and then we loved everyone so much that even though it was out of our way once we moved, we kept Ben there.  This is Ben’s last two months.  I’m so touched that the place that has provided stability and love to two of our children decided to bless me on this trip.  It is incredible and I am so deeply appreciative that I can’t even find the right words to express it.

Thank you for taking the time to read my update!

17 Days.....

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